Fairy story
Once upon a time, in another world, the King of Dementia ruled over his people. Just like the little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead, when he was good he was very, very good, but when he was bad, he was horrid. Sometimes, he would spend lots and lots of money buying for everyone and for himself, very generous presents: guitars, paintings, cars, houses, farms. When he did this, his subjects were very happy at first but then they would get worried. If he carried on like this, where would the money come from? Already their taxes were high and they feared they would become higher.
The King had a beautiful wife called Patience who also became very anxious for she knew, although the King did not, about his peoples' fears because it was forbidden by Royal Decree (RD192/1988) to criticize the King and the penalty was Death.
The Queen became even more concerned when after these huge spending sprees the King became very tired and sad. He would spend days and days, just sitting on his golden throne looking at the floor and not speaking to anyone.
One day, after one of the King's massive spending sprees, the Queen was just exhausted with all the worrying. I feel just a little sleepy, she said to herself and she lay down on her silken bed. And she slept and she slept and she slept. Luckily, there were no peas under her mattress as she was a very classy Queen and the slightest bump would have destroyed her sleep.
A hundred years later she was woken by a loud thud. She opened her eyes to find herself surrounded by papers, hundreds, thousands of papers piled so high that she could not see the room around her bed. In fact, the thud had been the sound of one of the paper towers falling to the floor. Of course she was confused. Wouldn't you be? Surrounded by a wall of papers? She carefully swung her feet off the bed and peered at the papers. She looked at one, and then another and then another. She rubbed her eyes. (She had after all been asleep for a hundred years and they were a bit sticky.) She read another. They were ALL receipts for coaches, carriages and carts. She had changed during her sleep. She was no longer the gentle, sympathetic Patience who had fallen asleep a hundred years ago. She was furious. (Maybe there had been a very small pea under her mattress after all.)
She stormed about, knocking over the towers of papers as she ranted, yelling for her Lord Chancellor. He hurried into her bedroom and looked aghast at this changed Queen who was literally tearing her hair out, twining it around her fingers and squeaking in her fury. Clumps of beautiful blonde hair were heaped up in drifts amongst the fallen towers of paper.
'How many carriages does he need? How many more can his kingdom afford? And the biggest question of them all. WHERE ARE THEY?'
The Lord Chancellor looked uneasy. 'I am sorry your majesty. These are questions that we have been unable to answer for the last hundred years. We are at our wits' end.'
'THAT IS NOT THE RIGHT ANSWER,' she shouted and she was so angry that she whacked her golden crown onto the table. There was a bang and out of a cloud of smoke appeared her Fairy Godmother. She was looking a bit bleary too, having been off duty for a hundred years, but she arrived with her magic wand in hand.
'I want you to find all these carriages', she yelled, and toot sweet.
Her Fairy Godmother looked rather annoyed. 'Don't speak to me in that tone of voice' she said. 'And don't be silly. I've been out of action for a hundred years. I don't know where they are. But I tell you what, she said, there has been a bit of a plague of rats I hear. Bit of an influx from Hamelin. They can go anywhere. I could change them into traffic police and we could send them out to look.'
The Queen looked a bit sorry for her outburst, but rather doubtful. 'How will they get around?' she asked. 'There can't be much transport left.'
'Well, that's not a problem' replied the Fairy Godmother. 'Don't you remember magic carpets? They're still around you know.'
'Good idea', agreed the Queen, 'and mind you turn them back into rats afterwards. You can have too many traffic police.'
She thought for a moment. 'Actually, I don't want all those carriages brought back here. Bring me a selection and get the Lord Chancellor to put the rest on e-bay. I want it sorted by nightfall.'
'Very well, Your Majesty. Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to look they go.' The Queen retired to review her wardrobe and coiffure. As the last rays of the sun disappeared, the Fairy Godmother and the Lord Chancellor appeared. The Queen laughed and clapped her hands with delight as she reviewed the three carriages.
'The Smart car is to-o-o-o-o-o-o small.
The Ford Transit van is to-o-o-o-o-o big.
But the Mercedes is j-u-u-st right. AND it's got an open top. Off we go. Are you ready FG? Magic us a pair of scarves and some shades will you? And don't forget the whisky.'
And they drove off into the night. (FG's last trick by the way, was to turn all the carriages which had been sold too cheaply on e-bay into pumpkins………… just in time for Hallowe'en.